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Empty

Have you ever felt empty before? You go about doing your daily routines, you go out and meet people, go on dates, smile the biggest smile, laugh your heart out with your friends and family...but in the end, when the day is over, as you lay in bed, you realize just how empty the whole day was. And everyday starts and ends the same way. Its as if a huge chunk of your heart, the life in you, is missing. And anything you do just feels pointless. Nothing feels right anymore. And that thing, that one thing that used to drive your days is no longer there Gone are the days where you wake up with such purpose. Gone are the days where you actually look forward to something. Gone are the days where you sleep at night feeling satisfied, as if you have lived a whole lifetime in that one day. Gone are the days where you genuinely feel excited and happy. Oh how I would do anything to get back the spark in my life, the spring in my steps, the twinkle in my eyes. Oh how I wish I could make my
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Truth

If someone asks me, in 5 years time or 10 years time, would i want to be in the same situation, doing the same things with you...my answer would be.. Well.. the ugly truth is that.. I would rather have fights with you everyday than have a romantic stroll with anyone else.  And this isn't a desperate answer, or an answer I haven't thought of carefully. Believe me, I have asked myself the same question over and over again for the past few months. Have gone back and forth with my answers countless times. And this is the longest that I have stuck to the same answer. Its the ugly truth. It really is. And its a truth I carry with me, like a dead body over my shoulders. The heaviest kind of burden.  - losing your best friend hurts more than losing your boyfriend -   E
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Clarity

With each day that passes and with each conversation we've had, I find myself closer and closer to clarity. A state of mind where I am at peace and full of acceptance. What is meant to be mine will be mine, and what is not meant to be mine will never be mine I finally understood this fully and finally accepted it with all my heart. And so now there is no more anger in me. No more trying to outrun the other party, no more trying to win. There's nothing to be won and there's nothing to lose anymore. There's always going to be some sort of confusion over what has happened and there's always going to be things left unsaid. But, I have always been clear on what my heart wants and it will always remain the same. The only difference now is that I no longer push for what I want. I merely wait in patience. And I admit, patience has always been my weakness. Truth be told, this is the first time that I have been this patient, and though others might not say the same, w
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if i had known

if i had known that our last kiss would be our last kiss, i would have never stopped kissing you. if i had known that the last time i laid my eyes on you as my other half would be my last time, i would have never taken my eyes off you if i had known that the last time you held me in your arms would be the last time you do so, i would have held on tighter and longer if i had known that the last time i talk to you dearly would be my last time, i would have spoke nothing but loving words as i struggle to hold on to every detail of your face, from the creases on your forehead, to the tiny mole on your temple, i cant help but think just how much time we have wasted on unnecessary fights and silences. all those times we could have spent building more memories that would have kept us together, we threw it away for nothing more important than to feed our egos and you would think that it is hypocritical of me, as i sit here in silence, biting my tongue to whatever you have said. but what
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