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Clarity

With each day that passes and with each conversation we've had, I find myself closer and closer to clarity. A state of mind where I am at peace and full of acceptance.

What is meant to be mine will be mine, and what is not meant to be mine will never be mine

I finally understood this fully and finally accepted it with all my heart. And so now there is no more anger in me. No more trying to outrun the other party, no more trying to win. There's nothing to be won and there's nothing to lose anymore.

There's always going to be some sort of confusion over what has happened and there's always going to be things left unsaid. But, I have always been clear on what my heart wants and it will always remain the same. The only difference now is that I no longer push for what I want. I merely wait in patience.

And I admit, patience has always been my weakness. Truth be told, this is the first time that I have been this patient, and though others might not say the same, what matters is that I myself know the struggle I went through and the progress I made in being patient. Never before have I let myself accept all the negativity that was said to me, without being angry and retaliating back. Never have I ever waited this long, and never have I ever been this calm in the midst of confusion and frustration.

I still have a long way to go, I still have a lot to understand, I still have a lot to figure out but I am starting my journey, one step at a time and that is all that matters.

I know now that I need to change, not for him , not for anyone else. But for me. For my own good. And it doesn't matter how slow my progress is or if anyone could really see it.Its enough that I know it for myself. Its enough that I focus on fixing myself for the better.

And then what is mine will eventually come to me and be mine. And when that day comes, I will be what I was meant to be, at my best..to and for what is mine.



-Good things come to those who wait. And you are worth all my patience-




E



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